like a rockstar....

Hello my loves! I feel like I'm one of those rockstars on tour writing a travel diary today. Mostly just wanted to give a quick shout out and say that I made it to TN safely and am having a wonderful time w/ my roommate from the interview in VA that I went to in January (we call her jmay). Sunday I got to spend some good times w/ my girls in ATL. I even found 2 shirts in the sleepwear section at Target that are super cute and long so I'll be able to wear them when I move - yay!

I drove up to TN from Atlanta yesterday morning and hung out at Union for awhile when we decided it best to road trip more and head to Memphis to hang out w/ jmay's mom and little bro. And then last night I got to see a girls basketball game - the kappa delts vs. the non-greek girls who showed up and wore yellow and grey shirts. It was a hilarious display of air balls and struggles over the ball which began and ended with one girl on the floor clutching the ball in fetal position not willing to give it up. They did make some shots though - the final score was something in the teens to a single digit number.

The reality of only having one more week in Gainesville is a little strange, but I'll be so excited for that good time we're going to have Friday night at the FLU house and next week at the ox and around town. I love you kids.

I leave you with this that I found outside my door on an index card when I awoke this morning to someone making hot team (mmmm....can't beat that!):

"Ointment and perfume delight the heart,
And the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel."
-Proverbs 27:9

Sorry no picture today - I'm not doing this on my computer!

not about arnold palmer, not even in the least...

So, Conversation Wednesday was pretty incredible this morning. Pam, Wendi and I learned together more about pride and becoming ready for battle. We mostly talked about how we don’t need to defend ourselves in conversations or try to one up people with a better anecdote. That seems to be the way we communicate in America a good deal of the time- conversations become competitions. Over the last year this is something I have learned to reflect on more and try to consciously make the decision that it is okay if I’m misunderstood, and I don’t need to constantly maintain a certain perception of me (that’s a myth - as if we really could control what people think of us, but we sure try hard anyway).

We also looked at the Cave of Adullam (again – keep ending up there due to these girls and jmay) and some of David’s men who tasted some sweet victories on account of sticking it out through battles everyone else ran away from. The key words in all that to me have been that God brings about victory – NOT me, or my relentlessness….He allows us to taste victory and blesses our obedience with that. Anyway – we’re all pretty excited about this time of being trained up.

In lifegroup last night I was reminded yet again from Job of having a childlike faith. Should we accept some things from Him and not others? NO! We believe He is sovereign and will bring Himself glory. Hence, faith, trust – it’s a beautiful thing, kids.

On a lighter note, Jess, Wendi and I got to eat lunch together (our new friends didn’t show…) and ended up with quite a time of hilarity. Jess and I showed Wendi all our ‘stupid human tricks,’ and learned that Wendi is just so amazing in a thousand other ways she would max out on cool points if she had any tricks…oh well, some of us aren’t so lucky! Jess was pretty confident she’d be able to touch her nose to her elbow when I asked if she could and we spent quite awhile watching her attempt such a feat. She decided it’s going to take some training, but one day she’ll be in the Olympics for it! Once that stopped Jess invented a game: we flipped a coin and called heads/tails. The loser had to touch their nose to the other person’s elbow…hence the picture ^ up there.

Then it's sunrise Thursday, Muffin Friday. . . adventures to: St. Augustine w/ Jess (and E in spirit when we go to the fort!), Atlanta to see Jess D and E, and then…Union University in TN to visit jmay (my roomie from the interview I went to in VA in Jan) and other union kids I have come to love as of late.

<--- from the sunrise at my 'rents place...i've been enjoying the beauty of sunrise this semester. May light dispell darkness!

The name of this is “Standing Inside the Fire” because I don’t believe in sitting out on things because you are scared of getting hurt (well, sans group sports).

“We call them fools Who have to dance within the flame Who chance the sorrow and the shame That always comes with getting burned…Life is not tried, it is merely survivedIf you’re standing outside the fire.”

The last few weeks have been exhilarating, however very much along the lines of chancing sorrow to have danced within the flame, as it were. My kids here at UF are an incredible bunch, as are the atl girls, my new friends at union, the people who make up my history in Clearwater, etc, etc. The decision to dive into life and not settle for half-hearted friendship or love is making this time hard. Just to be clear, I have no regrets about becoming so intertwined with people or the decision to leave…it’s just hard. I have been reading a book about women workers where I’m headed and one recurring theme is the creation of a new identity as you move into a society very much segregated by sex, a different language and focused on community, and having to give up your old identity from the states. When I have thought about the concept of dying to myself in the past it has always been something I thought of as giving up selfish ambition, seeking my own advantage, pride, possessions, dreams, etc. Now I am realizing at this time in my life the calling to die to myself is cutting deeper – it is literally meaning – to die to me. The concept I have of myself and my individual identity is really important to me as an American. We spend countless hours devising this thing that we define ourselves as and that is to be relinquished. Am I willing to become anything for His sake? Even a different concept of myself? It was shared with me by a pretty wise chica today that there is an awful lot to each of us and that every time we give up something of ourselves there is something new uncovered and we will be amazed at the versatility God has given us. I find a degree of comfort and excitement in knowing that God is changing me – not just on the fringes, but fundamentally. At the same time, all of this is coming in one package and it’s a lot of change to think about at once!

The language practice at lunch w/ my new friends is going really well. We have fun and I have been able to share some neat things with them along the way. It’s been an awesome blessing the last week.

So while I find myself crying at some pretty random moments and I struggle through, I am blessed by many encouragers and warriors around me. Thanks to all who are constantly in my corner. You are indeed making a difference. I continue to wish for us to be even more mixed up by God and to be fighters like this:

Amy's gone
And time rolls on
How far? How fast? How long?
The last time we saw Amy
She was headed for the shore
Fighting off the volatile gray skies
She said now begins forever
And that no one knows their time
We bid farewell not knowing
That might be our last goodbye
Amy was a fighter
She cut like Casius Clay
She burned like a fire
Despite these rains
Where time was a question
She only knew one song
She's singing, "How far, how fast,
how long?"
Salvation is a fire
In the midnight of the soul
It lights up like a can of gasoline
Yeah, she's a freedom fighter
She's a stand up kind of girl
She's out to start a fire
In a bar code plastic world
When everything stops moving
And I stop to catch my breath
And ride my train of thought
All the way round
My thoughts return to Amy
And the fire she's begun
She came when we were freezing
And left us burning up
-Amy's Song, Switchfoot